A little too numb, a little too shaken.

As I sit in front of my laptop, with tabs related to the gang rape opened and hearing my family talk about the deteriorating condition of the 23 year old anonymous girl fighting for her life, I don't know what to write. I'm a little too numb from the insensitivity of the government to make a comment after 7 days about the incident that shook the country, a little too shaken to see how desperate our government is to suppress the protests, a little to stupefied to see how easy it is for the ministers to pass comments after comments in the safety of their homes which are guarded by umpteen number of special force guards, a little too shocked to see just how low the major section of our society can stoop to get the pleasure for just a few minutes, just to feel superior.

Do the daughters and the sisters of these high profile ministers know how it feels when you walk out of your house, cover a distance of just 100 meters and have 5 pairs of eyes look at you, 5 different men singing cheap songs as soon as they see you? Do they know how it feels to think twice before going out once its dark? They don't. They don't because they have 10 cars behind theirs to protect their wives, sisters and daughters. And well, lets face it, in a country where power of the chair works, who would mess with these fancy people?

But what about us? What about those girls and women who go out to buy vegetables or to their office to work or the ones who go out to meet their friends and watch movies? What about those who don't have 5 body guards around them when they get off at a mall? What about those girls who have been raped and are forced to sit in the corner of their house because "unki izzat loot gayi hai?". Its it too much to ask for a city where safety is ensured, where a girl can just go out at anytime without having horny gawks scanning her from head to toe?

Whats so wrong with the whole country stirring up? Whats so wrong with everyone peacefully protesting at India gate against this heinous crime that there were endless rounds of shelling tear gas, water canon charges and batons? Whats so wrong with wanting to have those sick minded men castrated or hanged till death?

Capital punishment is given only in the rarest of the rare cases, then please, as a 20 year old girl living in this completely unsafe city, I would like to have an answer to the question that if this isn't a rarest of the rare cases then what is? A rod was inserted into a girl, she was hit brutally for biting and resisting them to save herself, she was  horribly raped, she was left on the road naked with her friend on the road. If this isn't rarest of rare then please someone come up and define for me what rarest of the rare is.

Yes, I agree the government is wrong. They should do something about this immediately. Even though capital punishment seems too easy a way out for those beasts, it will deter rest of those at least. But will it change how those men look at you when you go to the markets or when you go out to buy a pen or vegetables or when you go to the mall or when you take the bus?

Yes, we need harsher laws for such crimes. Rapes happen day and and day out. Not even half the cases get so much public attention as this one. Yes laws might lower the molestation. They might deter the horny bastards that move freely in our society. The might lower the possibility of another Guwahati case of public molestation and make the whole country and not only our city safe. But it can not change the mentality.

Are the laws ever going to change the mentality and stop every second "padha-likha" guy or not, from looking at a girl across the room and saying "Oi, bhench*d, kya cheez hai. Tota.". Is the law going stop these sick men from looking at a girl and stripping her naked with just their eyes? The laws would probably just lower the numbers but it can't do away with rapes. If today, every boy present in the protests can consent to never looking a the hottest girl wearing a mini skirt with a single inappropriate thought in his mind or rating her with his friends on a scale of 10, we can say that this incident made a difference. Its, firstly, the mentality we have to change. If that is changed then half the battle is won.

And to those the horrible men out there. If you really are men why do you have to force a girl to show your superiority. How much lower are you all going to stoop? Are you really so desperate to feel the pleasure that you'll rape anyone, from an 8 month old child to a fully grown woman? Man up and start being real men. Find better ways to show that you're powerful. All that raping a girl shows is how sick you all are and nothing else. Man up, you filthy creatures. Stop raping the innocent girls and do something better with your lives. The lawless animal world is better off than ours till the time you all exist.

An off day

So yes, everyone has days when they hate everything around them. They act annoyed, have mood swings, procrastinate and probably act like irritable-jealous-bitches. But then its just one of those days in a long while because you have something to piss you off to that extent.

I'm having one of those days today. I'm sitting infront of the laptop with a frown on my forehead and really irritated expression typing this. Sadly, at this moment Toblerone isn't helping either. So I turned to writing. Now, whats making my day go so bad that Toblerone ( one of my favourites, isn't working?)  . To begin with its the weather. I HATE winters. My hands and feet and nose are all cold. My nose is all red. No matter how many socks I  wear, my feet are ALWAYS blue. The other thing that would be annoying me is my exams.

Now lets take it one at a time. No I'm not sad that I have exams. I'm sad that they are in this weather. I can't write, I can't study and I can not afford to flunk a paper. So yay! a brilliant start to December. So basically it all roots from the stupid weather and the worst part is that the real winters haven't even come yet. Oh God, save me from January. Anyway, my blog posts are not for a person who'd want to write my biography because well, I'm  not THAT narcissistic. I am a good and a sane person even though I'm having my off day.

So these are the things I did to make myself feel better and I ask you not to do them. It doesn't help. At all.

#1. Talk to a friend in Goa.

Okay then. Talking to a drunk friend in Goa on your off day, not a good idea. Not a good idea at all. When he tells you he is on Baga Beach(which is super crappy, but still MUCH better then your political science books) and on his 15th beer after 4 glasses of whiskey, talking about how amazing the wind is and the sound of the sea is, all you feel like is punching that bastard in the face. :|
So please, do NOT talk a friend who is on a vacation while you're stuck at home studying. BAD idea.

#2. Talking to a relatively new friend.

Now here is the problem with this, the new friend might be super nice and caring but it gets rather funny when they act all best friend-y. Thats not really gonna help, the over attachment, I mean. So the right thing to do is to call up a close friend who is not in Goa and talk to them so that they call you names and you get back to normal.

#3 Eating Chocolate. (this one is mainly for girls)

You're having an off day, you're bound to over think and feel bad about EVERYTHING. You will just keep eating them but then you'll feel all guilty because you are already gaining weight. So, keep the chocolate away. The guilt will just make your day worse and you will feel guilty because an off day is a bitch.

#4. Whatsapp.

Oh my God. People just don't stop messaging! After a while it gets annoying. Especially when your fingers are frozen and you are not used to the new touch phone. Chatting with 5 people on 10 different topics, not fun. So please turn it off before you get mad at someone for just talking to you.

#5. Watching House MD.

Listening about creepy diseases and watching people cut into others, well, its gross (unless you are a doctor). So while Dr. House's experiments with LSD and/or his cheeky-ness is fairly entertaining, its very annoying when you're pissed with life in general. (my suggestion, watch Suits. That show can blow anyone's mind)

Now that was the top 5 things not to do on your off day. Here are two or three things that you should do and would make you feel on a generally-pissed day.

#1. Status updates!

I know you're thinking how can status updates help? Well they can if you are having your off day on the day same as an awesome football match. I was lucky and had my off day on the day of Manchester Derby. The status updates after the match made my day. I swear. When it comes to the Reds, the shit is always serious.

Ps, everyone thank Arsenal. I swear I would have kissed RVP had I been on the field for scoring that goal.
Also, you'd be luckier if you see Chelsea lose against united on your off day because the status updates are even better that day, but ofcourse the condition for that is that you have to dislike Chelsea. 

#2. Stalk a cute guy.(again for girls)

Having an off day? Stalk a cute guy you know. That is one thing that always helps because lets face it, ITS A CUTE GUY! Its even better when the guy plays some musical instrument and is smart. Thats a combo every girl wants in a stalkable-cute-guy.

#3. Talk to an old friend.

So I talked to an old friend who just bought a new car. Well, they bought it a month back but I just found out. So the good part about that was that I can demand a good long ride in the Merc for getting to know this late. Hence talk to an old friend, its not that they come up with the line "Sex on wheels"everyday. They will make you laugh.

#4. SLEEP and FOOD!

Sleep and food. That is the answer to EVERYTHING. Period.

Everyone is allowed to have off days. No matter how irritable you get. Everyone is allowed to get pissed under pressure or because its just a glum day. In the end all you have to do is go back to studying Marxism because you have your stupid ass exams coming up!
Haha. I hope you guys enjoyed this post. Venting out here did make a feel better and I can peacefully go back to doing whatever I want. :)